what i feel like day one...lets keep it going!!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGVNuSYDbvo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fTUj9mfnUk  More motivation


And this song totally says how I'm feeling about this journeyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qolUC13bwMc

The Hippie Project

Every year, every day its the same thing...what diet to start? Why am i so fat?  Lets start monday? or at the beginning of a new month/year.  WELL Im sick of it.  Im starting today, on a SATURDAY at the END of a month. (Thanks to my brother Joe)  I am a hippie at heart and need to find that girl again.  Today I am working on changing my state of mind.  In the past it has always been about food (which will become a part of this soon)  but for today its about excepting who i am TODAY!!!

Save the animals

Want so bad to eliminate the weight that i am trying tons of things, but not sticking to any. I need to be stronger in my mind to achieve my goals. I am currently attempting to live a Vegan lifestyle. It feels so good when i do. My mind sometimes thinks i am in need of non-vegan food, but i always feel like CRAP afterwards. I weighed at 293.6 last week. This process seems so long and daunting, however i know that if i just focus on today , the future will be bright. I weigh in again on Thursday. My goal is 3.6 pounds. This is achievable and i will achieve it. Lets do this thing!!!!

To be rid of this disease FOREVER!!!

So I haven't been good mentally lately. I have been under alot of stress from life and Satan. In a moment of influence, i shaved my head. Why is my brain deteriating? I had a major panic attack yesterday in which my body was no longer my own. After my husband administered a preisthood blessing, i was exhausted from being taken over that i just slept. Brody was able to be home and watch the kids. When my body was being taken over, i was under the strong impression that i should kill myself. I was so scared and very greatful that my husband was home to "save my life." I have huge issues with my weight. I weighed in at 296.0 this morning which is so horrible in my eyes. I was 288 2 weeks ago, but due to stress induced binging, i apparently gained back my weight. It is such a freaking burden. I want a normal life or what i would consider normal. I am a strong women who is weak at the moment. I want to be done with the hell that i curently call my life. I need to focus on me and get me better so my kids and husband don't suffer anymore.